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about

Doyce's tribute to funk & soul, as only his hillbilly soul can render them, featuring high-energy numbers like "Soul Tsunami" and the sizzlin' "Sex Gizzard."

"Puts a new low in low-brow." - SKANK

"An exhaustingly expansive mind... Everyone gets deer meat tonight" - LOCO MAGAZINE

"Doyce Whisanant rises forth like a fiery Phoenix from the ashen mound of Rayle, Georgia, as no doubt many savory bits rise forth from the ashen mounds of his buttocks." - HOEDOWN MAGAZINE

"Bereft of the normal miscues typically befitting such a fellow of lesser means, Doyce Whisanant is a man of single-wide circumstances with double-wide vision." - PINK TORPEDO

credits

released April 1, 2009

Doyce Whisanant - vocals and lyrics
Macular Degenerates - musical accompaniment
Recorded & produced by Tony Arnold.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Tony Arnold Georgia

Art Rock.

Psychedelic Prog.

Soundscapes.

Instrumental.

Country Funk.

Space Exotica.

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Contact Tony Arnold

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Track Name: Hunky Funk
Hunky Funk

Well I run into a boy in the barber shop the other day,
he started telling me all about things he thunk.
I got to thinking about all the shit he's coming out with,
I told him, I said, 'boy that all, that's just a bunch of junk.'
He rared up, said 'boy, I'll hit...I'll slap the shit out of you,
you little punk.'

I told that boy, I said well uh,
“That ain't what your sister said the other day,
she told me to shove it up in her trunk.
But I had to tell her 'I ain't coming near that thing, darling,
'cause of, 'cause it smell more like a skunk.'
But I don't wanta cause any trouble,
I think we all oughta go buy us a ice cream.”
Let's all do
the Hunky Funk.
Track Name: The Sun Shines Out Her Ass
The Sun Shines Out Her Ass

We lie enwrapped in pulsing shadows of the past,
where sleep will come at last.
We dream her day-glo glitter rapture then we crash
while the sun shines out her ass.

The years are crumbling in the clockwards' wind too fast,
in these days of future past.
I see a rainbow trailing outward from the lass
and the sun shines out her ass.

Our years are tumbling while the clockward's way too fast,
in these days of future past.
I trace the rainbow trailing upwards from the lass
as the sun shines out her ass.
Track Name: Twatwaffle Stank
Twatwaffle Stank

Well I woke up t'other morning
and I give that bell a yank
but nobody came a-runnin'
and I thought I smelled a prank.
I put on my hat and shuffled
through a house so dark and dank
and my eyes, they were a-stingin'
like a dug-up septic tank.
And at first I was bewildered
'cause it seemed I smelled a skank,
but it soon became apparent
that I had twatwaffle stank.

Yeah, I woke up t'other morning
and I give that phone a crank
but I didn't hear no sirene
so I thought it was a prank.
I put in my teeth and shuffled
through the woods so close and dank
and my mouth was just a-gaggin'
like a dug-up septic tank.
And I don't know what happened
but it's her I have to thank,
'cause it soon become apparent
that I've got twatwaffle stank.

I've got that ol' twatwaffle stank...
Track Name: Dancin' Felon
He's one smooth, sexy player.
He's a cheap motherfucker.
Two thousand-dollar tennis shoes
and a five-dollar hooker.

Chorus:
He's charmin' all the ladies
with his moves out on the flaw.
He's feeling up the white chicks
while runnin' from the law.
He'll cut the baddest dance moves
like he robs the liquor staw.
He's a sexy dancin' felon
but he's running out the daw.

He'll cut you up.
He'll take what's his
like a fuckin' reparation.
Yeah, you know he's right.
He's as dumb as they come.
He's gangstah!!

(chorus)

Be careful he don't shoot you
a bad look.
He'll shoot you
like he shot The Man.

(chorus)

He'll shoot yo' baby in the fuckin' face.
Track Name: Jive Turkey Sausage Fest
Jive Turkey Sausage Fest

Gimme some o' that turkey sausage
Gimme some o' that chocolate bacon
...some o' that vanilla cream
yeah...

Gimme some o' that chocolate sausage
Gimme some o' that vanilla bacon
...some o' that good booty
yeah...

Gimme some o' that turkey bacon
...some o' that chocolate ice cream
Whoa, lick it up, baby
Yeah, some o' that liquid booty
Yeah...
mmmm...
mmmhmm...
Oh yeah...
Oh, give it to me good...
Gimme some o' that good stuff
Oh yeah...
Track Name: The Lady is a Cunt
The Lady is a Cunt

She's shaking it for all she's got,
her moves are yours for the askin.'
It's not really your attention she wants--
it's the spotlight in which she's basking.
You might not care to hear it,
but a fact you must confront:
she's not someone you'd really want,
'cuz the lady is a cunt.

She's pushing it for all she's got,
her business is yours for the askin.'
Though it's not really what she wants--
it's the glow in which she's basking.
Nobody really wants to think it,
but a fact we must confront:
she's not what anyone truly wants,
'cuz the lady is a cunt.

She's out there giving it all she's got.
Pay attention, 'cuz she's got all the answers.
But her only strength is bringing you down;
she's just one more of life's little cancers.
Though she'd never admit it,
it's a fact she must confront.
In spite of what she might think,
the lady is a cunt.

Take a little pill
Take a big pill
Take a bitch pill
Take two
Take a little pill
Take a big pill
Take a bitch pill
Take three
Take a little pill
Take a big pill
Take a bitch pill
Take four
Take a little pill
Take a big pill
Take a bitch pill
Take five
etc.
Track Name: Spaced Out Blues
Spaced Out Blues

Oh come on, baby,
please, please dontcha sull up like that...
Let's just me, you and Jesus, let's just get up
Let's just get lit tonight.
Heh, heh...
Hey look at that lawn jockey...
See what he's doing?
HeeHee
That little fucker...
How come you painted him that color like that?
Yeah...
I, uh...
I heard that!

Baby, how long we had them peacocks?
I ain't never noticed 'em before...
they sure are pretty.
Baby, please...
please dontcha sull up like that.
You know I'm a good man.
I love you,
I'll, I'll stay with you, baby.
Can't go...
Can't go deer hunting...
My deer stand's haunted.
I ain't going back there.
Oh shit!
I got to get up,
I got to go bass fishing tomorrow.
Let me get up from here.

HehHeh.
Track Name: Ramblin' Song
Ramblin' Song

I was passing through a Stuckey
on my way to Kentucky
when I stole this little golden Jesus,
And Lord, Lord, Lord
I was a rambler then.
I was passing through Manassas
on my way to Atlantis
when I found this pyramidal token,
And Lord, Lord, Lord
I was a rambler then.
I was feeling kinda reckless
so I put 'em on a necklace
and it made me lucky with the ladies
And the good Lord made me
a gamblin' man.

And well I remember
standing on a corner in old Ludowici
And Lord it was so hard
to find good pussy then.
You take what you're given
and get on with the livin'
or you leave it flappin' in the breeze.
Sometimes standing on your own
brings you to your knees.

I was eating a banana
on my way through Fontana
when I saw that saucer in the distance,
and Lord, Lord, I wore
a bandana then.
And I nearly started running
but I stopped and started thumbing
for the ride for which I was a-bumming
and Lord, Lord, Lord I was
a gamblin' man.
But then it started turning
and my questions stopped burning
and my belly, Lord it was a-churning
and Lord, Lord, Lord
I was a scramblin' man.

And then I remembered
thumbing on a corner in old Ludowici
And Lord it was so hard
to find good pussy then.
You go where you're driven
and proceed with the livin'
so you leave 'em swingin' in the breeze.
Sometimes living on your own
brings you to your knees.

(instrumental break)

I was just outside of Winder
in a shit-hole diner
when I bit down on a piece of gristle,
And Lord, Lord, Lord
I was a rambler then.
It was in a sausage biscuit
but I didn't wanna risk it
so I left it laying on the ticket
And the good Lord made me
a scramblin' man.
And I've always been a loner
but I thought I was a goner
when she caught me out behind the dumpster.
And Lord, Lord, Lord I was a-tremblin' then.

And well I remember
singing on a corner in old Ludowici
And Lord it was so hard
to keep good pussy then.
You love what you're living
and get on with the giving
or you leave it hanging on the wind.
Sometimes being on your own
makes you want to sin.
You take what you're given
and get on with the livin'
or you leave it flappin' in the breeze.
Sometimes standing on your own
brings you to your knees.

So she gave me quite the sermon
but I wasn't into learning
so I asked her if she'd wanta marry,
though the good Lord made me
a ramblin' man.
But the doctor hadn't fixed her,
so I soon had to ditch her
in a bar outside of Allatoona,
and Lord, Lord, Lord I was a tremblin' man.
And I made it up to Rabun
but the waitress wasn't playin'
and she trapped me in a Porta-Potty
and Lord, Lord, Lord
I was a family man.

And still I remember
begging on a corner in old Ludowici
And Lord it was so hard
to buy good pussy then.
You get what you're giving
and get on with the living
or you leave it hanging on the wind.
Sometimes rolling down the road
takes you where you been.
You get where you're driven
and keep on with the givin'
cause you can't live swingin' in the breeze.
Sometimes standing on your own
brings you to your knees.
Track Name: Piss On You
Piss On You

I have to say I'm mighty proud
to get that note from you.
It does me good to know a fan
enjoys a song or two.
But fifty cents a song
does not permit the bearer who
would like the rest for free.
Piss on you.

I ain't about to waste my time
doing what others do:
I'll spend my evenings on this couch
or writing something new
No, I don't do the things I do
because you pay me to.
You ain't the boss of me,
piss on you.

Now we ain't lugging all this gear
when ya'll don't have a clue.
Your culture's fell to Hollywood
and liquor vendors too.
And fifty cents a song
will only buy a string or two.
I'll refill my own glass,
piss on you.

We ain't about to waste our time
doing what others do.
We spend our evenings on the porch
or playing something new.
No, we don't do the things we do
because ya'll pay us to.
You ain't the boss of us,
piss on you.
Nobody works for free,
piss on you.
No, we ain't paying ya'll,
piss on you.